Random thoughts on Igbo traditional weddings (1) 

 How much more married can a person be, after 2 families and their friends have come together and shared a meal and drank over it, after two families have broken bread in agreement and given their children away to each other ? 

 I realize with the advent of missionaries and the gospel of Christ, certain aspects of Igbo tradition and culture had to be done away with. However, do we throw out the baby with the bath water? How is it that the closest to Hebrew marriage found in the bible has been relegated to second place in favour of a church wedding ( with all its attendant processes) ? These days young couples and their families bear the burden of paying for several weddings. I realize that there is a place for “church” but must it be as it is now? 

 

Some people feel that they are not married until they have had their “church wedding” , in spite of the fact that they have gone through the traditional process that is required and acknowledged by their culture. Where is the place of the black tuxedo or tail coat for and Igbo man?

Random thoughts on Igbo traditional weddings (2) : Quantum of Bride Price 

So I was speaking with my cousin who I hadn’t seen in a while and I asked what was going on with her and her husband to be, specifically about how far they had gone with regards to their wedding arrangements and she said in a tired voice “ We are making progress, they told us to bring fifty thousand naira before they give us the list. “ I was like “What ????!!!!!????” 😮 First time I had ever heard of a “pre wedding list “ fee. It seems Igbo traditional weddings are becoming even more expensive. 

My question is “Why?” 

 Some people will lay claim to tradition, others will talk about increased economic pressure in today’s world. My opinion is that old men, so called custodians of Igbo tradition have made a decision that is purely selfish in nature, to twist tradition and culture for personal gain. They have no concern for the financial strain their “decrees” have on grooms ( who are mostly young men who are not totally settled financially). Why is this allowed? Is this avarice all part of being Igbo? 

 This issue of exorbitant bride price and other related matters isn’t new. Apparently, in the old Eastern region of Nigeria, a law existed limiting the bride price to a certain amount ( Limitation of Dewey Law 1956, section 3(a))  from http://www.onlinenigeria.com/marriage/brideprice

Is greed and avarice ingrained in the Igbo psyche? Or is it a horrible stereotype that we have embraced?? Is a lorry load of yams  (amongst many other things) not excessive? A carton of skin pomade and powder, is that to start up a little shop or what??? 

Things need to change and I realize that it starts with the individual. It’s a long and hard road but it is possible.